#10843

Dead Man Talking

Too Short

I like the theme. The prophet Elijah should definitely be in more fantasy stories, and the medical twist was educating. I think the story should be double in length. Elijah should go into detail with his warnings.

#10825

An Artificial Angel

clever

A clever melding of futuristic drone technology with very human feelings in this short action piece, nice!

#10740

The Little Brown Mouse, the Holy Eucharist, and Prohibition

Interesting approach

I adore symbolic writing and stories with meaning and messages hidden beneath the surface. I found this a very interesting approach using a fairy-tale to present the topic of Prohibition. It worked well I think :)

#10739

The Little Brown Mouse, the Holy Eucharist, and Prohibition

Cute

Cute story of the church versus Prohibition and a resulting romance.

#10654

I Like Boobs

An ode to boobs

LOL Very humourous and cleverly written poem about boobs.

#10652

Messy Misfit

An interesting intro

I feel his pain but I would have liked to learn a little more about this character in the first chapter. We know nothing about his family, how he got to go to the school. To help the reader bond more with the character and therefore journey along with him through the upcoming chapters. Help readers visualize the scene by painting a bit more of a picture. Remember the five senses of your characters when you write.

#10601

BANDIT'S FOURTH LIFE

Simply Charming

This is a lovely story that I think most children would enjoy. I personally found the repetitive use of the cat's name distracting. It could just be me.

#10600

Dead Man Talking

Reverse faith

Funny and well-written. Where as faith is usually belief in something unseen, here we have something seen but not believed LOL